Today I amazed myself

I ran 19 miles today. As you can imagine, I had a lot of time to think as I was running! There were several a ha moments as I ran and ran and ran. Mostly I cannot believe I almost let my life slip away from me. It is still hard to believe how much has changed in the past year and a half. Two years ago we were smack dab in the middle of cleaning out my mother in law's estate. At this point my sister in law had not called me "fat" yet, well not to my face anyways:). I had a "uniform" I always wore. It was a comfy skirt and black shirt. I think I wore it five days a week. I couldn't tell I was putting on weight because I was too comfortable in the knit skirt with the yoga like roll down waist band. Did I mention yet that I was completely depressed too? I was still mourning the death of my brother and now helping Logan through the loss of his mother. I was walking a bit, but not eating right and partaking in a lot of red wine and lienenkugels berry viesse beer. Not a great combo. I know many of you know my story. Sometimes it is good for me to reflect on the changes.

Sooooooo anyways, as I was running I was basking in my successes. I do not mean for this to sound cocky. It is just what it is. I was miserable and found a way back to life. Back to a life I hadn't known before. The last eighteen months have been amazing. If you told me when I was 250 pounds and depressed that I would be where I am today, I would never have believed you.

In closing, if I can do this, than anyone can. I honestly believe that. If you need support, I am here for you.

Thanks for all the support from from family, friends irl and online and all those people who have noticed and said something to me. I could not have done this without all of you! Much love!

Thank God I got rid of the "Fat Pants"

Seriously, Thank God! As I lost weight I got rid of the 20s and 18s that I had to order online because they didn't sell the extended sizes in the store. Then I got rid of the 16s, the 14s, the 12s, the 10s and the 8s. Everytime I lost enough weight to get rid of a size of clothing, I got together stuff for Goodwill and donated it that day. It was like a cleansing. It felt AWESOME. I had heard in a few Weight Watchers meetings that I should get rid of the clothes that no longer fit me. That by keeping them, I was keeping a "safety net".

Last week I experienced what it was like to NEED that "safety net". It should not have been a shock. The scale had been creepy upwards for a few weeks and my eating was out. of. control! I went to put on some of my favorite Banana Republic jeans and could NOT get them zipped! I started to sweat as I tried on other jeans that wouldn't zip either. I was in panic mode. Omg, how did I let this happen? What can I do to fix this? "Okay, calm down" I told myself. Stop freaking out and make a plan! So that day, after eating a very salty hoagie from Fat Lorenzo's the night before, I weighed 186.5! 16.5 pounds higher than my lifetime weight! So I got back on plan that day. I got out my Weight Watchers Journal and planned out my foods for that day. I drank lots and lots of water and was able to lose a lot of weight in a few days. Six days ago I freaked out. This morning I weighed 178.5:) Thank God I didn't have the "safety net"!