Last Official Hoop of the Year!

My new years resolution is almost complete! Woohoo! 20 minutes/day in 2011. I. Did. It! I took some days off, but always made it up and ended the year averaging 20 minutes per day! I am proud of this accomplishment:)

I've had some pretty hefty resolutions in the past like the year I finally quit smoking and the year I quick drinking. Those resolutions are pretty darn important to me too:)

I'm not sure what 2012 holds for me yet, but I have some ideas I've been toying with:). Two more days to commit!

Too Many Sweets

I can eat anything I want on Weight Watchers...that means in portion controls! LOL. I feel gross from eating cookies and snacks for the past four days. Seriously, what was I thinking? I don't even feel good when I do this...yuck!

So tomorrow I detox both the house and my body. The treats are heading to Logan's work and I have my day planned out points wise:). I know what to do and I plan on ending 2011 feeling awesome!

It's time to plan out 2012 and make some serious goals. I'm not sure what the goals will be yet, but getting to Lifetime and staying there will be part of them:)!

Time for Some Full Disclosure....Yikes!

Here goes nothing! At my weigh in at the end of September I weighed....drumroll please...a whopping 209! Just kidding about the drumroll. And it isn't a "whopping" in everyones eyes, but it is for me personally. I was slowly slipping back to my 250 highest weight and definitely feeling really uncomfortable in my skin:(.

This morning I weighed in at 194 pounds. While this isn't anywhere near my goal, I feel a million times better! I am well on my way to my goal of 170 pounds:). In Weight Watchers world that's called "Lifetime" and lifetime can be 2 pounds above or below that weight. So I really just need to lose 22 pounds to get back to Lifetime. WW has added a new benefit to Lifetime and that's free online Etools! I cannot wait!

My next goal is 15 pounds and after that my 10% which is 187 pounds. By WW standards I am down 14 pounds because my start over weight was 208 and I actually gained a pound before going down. I need to lose one pound this week! I can do it with careful planning and staying clear of some of the sugary treats that are sure to be hanging out on the break table at work! I can eat them, but I choose not to because when I eat them I don't like how I feel and the decisions afterwards usually go South!

Looking forward to a great weigh in next week! Merry Christmas!

Digging Semi Deep

I need to get with the program. I have been tracking, but like I said in my last post, not like I should. At least I have se great new habits that keep the weight off even when I am not super strict with myself:). I am ready to get motivated for December and knock off about 10 pounds before 2012 makes it's entrance:)

This week I commit to four elliptical workouts (my knee likes me better when I don't run!), two bodypump workouts and my hooping 20 minutes/day:)! I will be planning out my workouts and plan my meals today.

I cannot wait to go to Weight Watchers this week. I've heard they have tweaked the program a bit. From what I've heard, the changes make sense and will motivate me:). Bring. It. On:)!

Tidbits From Today:)!

I have been slacking in the blogging department. I haven't gained any of the recent 12 pounds loss, but I also haven't lost anymore weight recently. I have been tracking, but not as hard core as I'd like to:)

The other night as I was driving home from closing I started to think about what snacks were waiting for me at home...then I remebered that the kitchen was closed:)! What a relief to not have that struggle going on in my head after working a late shift. Closed is closed. I don't have to tell myself I am not going to eat late at night and fail myself by eating! I now know that a closed kitchen means a closed kitchen, no questions asked. Period.

I haven't been able to run without my left knee hurting:(. I had been working out on the elliptical, but it's just not the same stress relief. I have been stressed to the max and need to get the stress level down to a more manageable level. Soon!

Tomorrow is a new month. I will be setting goals for December and achieving them! Stay tuned:)

That's What I'm Talking About

I haven't been to a WW meeting in a few weeks. It just hasn't been something I've needed to keep on track this time. I do need to weigh in 10 times before my vouchers expire at the end of February, so I need to go once in awhile so that work will reimburse me:). I really wanted to go today and had time before my annual doctor's appointment. I really wanted to start thinking about Thanksgiving and how I was going to plan for the big meal:). I had a five pound loss since my last meeting weeks ago. I lost my first five percent:)! Something has clicked this time. It feels different. I feel in control. I feel great. It hasn't been as fast as last time, but I have grown so much more! This is not only about Weight Watchers. This is about planning, counting, saying no when it's not planned, exercising, resting when I'm tired, and the biggest change this time has been closing the kitchen after dinner. I could eat after dinner IF I had points left, BUT I not in control when I eat at night and now I've discovered how much better I sleep! I love sleeping. I even dropped all my sleep aides:). I am thankful that I was able to dig deep at the end of September. It gets easier everyday:). Being healthy makes me a better mom, wife, daughter and friend.

Digging Less This Week

I recommitted to living a healthy lifestyle September 30th of this year. I had to dig REALLY deep. I was really slipping and needed to turn the car around. I needed to change more then I did in the past. I finally feel like I GET IT. No, I am not done, nor will I ever be, BUT I now feel like I have the tools for success!

Every single time I've gained weight it was for all the obvious reasons PLUS I had the bad habit of eating late after night. Sure, it is okay to eat after dinner, BUT not if you were eating mindlessly and points and calories you don't need. I am glad to report that since closing the kitchen each night I have been able to keep it closed and I am not (USUALLY) hungry at night and no longer have cravings for icecream and sprinkles every night!

I am down 10.5 pounds since September 30:). I have 28 pounds to get back to my goal. I am finally in control and it feels great!

Thank you to my friends and family for your support! It helps more then you would guess!

Digging Deep

I've been digging deep for almost a month now. Maybe it's been longer. I am starting to see results finally. This time the weight isn't coming off as fast as I'd like it to and yesterday was especially challenging. There were a lot of treats at work that could have derailed me, but I didn't let them. For instance, the fifteen pizzas I was sent to pick up from Little Ceasers! I CAN eat pizza, but only when I plan for it! I had already accounted for all my points for the day, so I did NOT have any:). There were various other treats at work which I was able resist:). I was pretty hungry late last night and even had myself talked into a peanut butter lollipop, a cheese stick and trisquits...that is until I dug really deep and said " THAT'S NOT HAPPENING" to myself!!! At that point I overindulged in some Trident Layers gum;)! That did the trick. And this morning, the scale was good to me:). I am really close to a break through right now:). It hadn't budged for awhile, so it was the most awesome feeling this morning to see a significant loss:)!

On my drive home from work last night I realized this particular WW journey was moving much slower then I wanted it to, but that I was going to continue doing the things I was doing and then I would certainly see a loss, right? Yeppers:). Sorry if this is all over the place! I feel a bit scattered today, but wanted to jot down some thoughts while Hayden is napping next to me:)

I can do this. I am doing this. If I fail to plan, I plan to fail. Plain and simple. I will trudge on:)

Ramblings While Hooping:)

Today is my day off from exercise...hahahaha, I guess I could count a Saturday working at the MOA Gap as some kind of workout:). Work was nuts today, in a good way! Saturdays are fun and I feel like I am missing a party when I have a Saturday off, NOT that I want to work every Saturday:)! It was awesome to see the kids after work! They spent the night at my parents house last night. I almost missed my 6:00am wake up from Hayden Lee. Almost!

It felt awesome to head into my empty closet this morning. It was the feeling I get when my purse is cleaned out:). Only the things I use were in my closet and drawers this morning:). It was a reminder of my journey. I love feeling motivated:). I still have a lot of digging deep to do, but I feel ready!

I am hooping as I blog. Need to hoop for today. I still need to make up for a missed session from yesterday, but that can wait. This lady needs to relax and snore in front of the T.V.!

Have a great night:)

P.S. The kitchen has been closing after dinner for five weeks now! I just saw a commercial for the McDonalds McRib sandwich and had to check out the stats:). 12 points...a little over a third of my day. not sure if that's worth it!

WOW, That was an EYE OPENER!

Going through my too tight clothing has been both a shock and a major eye opener. I am treating this experience in the same way that I treated the half marathon last weekend. I will grow from this and use it to motivate me back into my size 4 and 6 jeans:)!!!!! I can't wait. I know I can do this. I am digging DEEP!

Owwy! My Finger!

I am sick and tired of jamming my wedding ring on and off every day! I had it resized after I lost 80 pounds and right now it is a bit snug! It hurts no matter how much dish detergent I use:(. So right now I am working towards a pain free ring experience....should be in about 10 pounds:).

I had a fantastic run this morning:). Loved my run and can't wait for another one tomorrow:)

November Goals

I ran a half marathon last weekend. I was not ready and I swear that will never happen again. I finished the race, but it wasn't pretty and I was pretty wiped out the rest of the day. It was a total wake up call! That is the positive spin I can put on that race:). So with that, I am taking the month of November to get back into shape! No time like the present!

I will continue to close the kitchen after dinner, which I started doing in the beginning of October. I will continue to hula hoop twenty minutes each day and track my WW points:) My new commitments are running 3-4 5Ks each week and doing BodyPump two times/week.

Today I ran 3.2 before BodyPump. I did some laundry, paid bills, hooping as I blog, getting a haircut in a bit and heading into work from 3-11:). I have a feeling I will sleep well tonight:). Happy November!

I Need to Figure out Activity Points

All these years on Weight Watchers and I have never eaten any activity points. I am starting to think I may start eating them because after 100 minutes of hardcore exercise this morning, I've been starving marvin All. Day. Long! Now I don't always workout so long, but today was a day off and wanted to get in a good sweat today:). Since I am eating my weeklies, now I am considering eating my activity points. I may have to consult Carrie about these. If someone out there has some activity points advice please respond here or message me on FB.

Yikes, who the heck turned on the light in the kitchen? It's closed people!!!!!

OMG...I get IT!

After over three years on WW I finally get it! I can eat anything I want and lose weight!!!!!!!! It is all about portion control (tracking points) and adding something healthy in there. I am so freaking excited and STOKED!

So my new favorite meal is Little Ceaser's deep dish and cauliflower:) One peice of deep dish, one Crazy Bread and one cheese bread and a mountain of cauliflower! YUMMY! I dipped my steamed cauliflower in the Ceaser's Sauce (not sure of the name of the sauce!) and it was amazing:)

That's it. Just super excited to have eaten that twice this weekend and have a loss:)

The Kitchen is Closed!

Tonight is night 7 of closing the kitchen after dinner. This is a BIG deal for me. We had developed a bad habit of having icecream every night after the kids went to bed. Sometimes it wasn't full fat ice cream, most times it involved sugar sprinkles! Once in awhile it a large malt with extra malt from DQ! Many times too I would find myself snacking before bed and often times AFTER bed as well. Closing the kitchen stops all of the above behaviors and helps me stay on track. I could definitely eat at night if I planned the points into the day, but why bother when I completely over indulge when I eat later. I can't explain it, but I just can't say no to the food once I start eating late into the night.

Last time I blogged I had a LOT of goals. I reached most of them. I missed on the nightly journaling. I will get back to that this week, but not every night. The goal I am most proud of achieving is that of returning to BodyPump:)! It was really scary, but I did it! And good grief was I sore for SEVERAL days after the first time back! I went the first time with Logan. The second time I went to BP I was alone and I survived! This week I plan on going two times and tons of running. I have three days off, so I plan on making the most of it!

This time I am trying something different with the program. I am eating all my daily and weekly points. I am committed to going to the same meeting each week. This week I went to two meetings and got something out of them both.

I have a lot of work to do. I can do this and I am ready! My goal is to be back to goal weight by my birthday. Very achievable.

Have a great week peeps!

And P.S. JoJo brought the most amazing looking raspberry chocolate chip bars into work today. They looked amazing. I am guessing they were:).

Dangnabbit!

I have fallen, not THAT far, but far enough to be scared out of my mind and feel completely uncomfortable in my skin:( So I need to dig deeper then I have in the past and JUST DO IT!

Here are my goals for today and this week:

1. Plan out every day both foods and workouts

2. Show my face at BodyPump...I am sooooooooo scared!

3. Go to the 8am WW meeting next Saturday

4. Pat myself on the back for staying sober and continuing to hoop!

5. Journal before bed every night

6. Last, BUT not least, Stick to the plan and always remember if I fail to Plan I Plan to Fail.

I am present and ready to take this on!

The Traveling Journal helped me lose 3.6 pounds this week!

Woo Freaking Woo! Another awesome week on Weight Watchers! I am sooooooooooooo thrilled that after several months of struggling (at least six!) I am back! Not only did I struggle with WW and tracking, but I even went so far as to try another program. It was okay, but I didn't feel good on it. I made my way back to WW on May 4th, 2011. That day I weighed in at a scary for me 199.2 pounds (which means I was over 200 at home because my scale at home weighs heavy). The following week I weighed in at 195.2 and today I was 191.6! OMG. I shouldn't be excited about that number, BUT I am! 21.6 pounds and I will be back at lifetime AND I feel awesome at 170. It's my number!

I really, really liked having the Traveling Journal for a week. I was very aware of what I ate and tracked every single point. I ate all my daily points and all but four of my weeklies and still lost 3.6 pounds. It was a light exercise week for. I walked almost every day and I hooped, but that is less then normal. I am having an issue with my left knee so I am taking it easy.

Off to plan another week of healthy eating! I LOVE planning and I love how I feel when I am in control of my calories and exercise.

Being overweight is hard.
Losing weight is hard.
Pick your hard!

Today is Freaking Amazing

A totally honest and open FB message I just sent to a few friends who are on this journey with me:

Andrea Childers May 14 at 10:23am
Time to eat fricking CROWE! I am soooo freaking EXCITED to share with you my meeting enthusiasm on this dreary Saturday:) Not dreary in my head though!!!!!!! O.M.G. I wish I could have taped the experience of my meeting for you to see! It was WAY more amazing then my account of it could ever be via a fb message! Am I jumping out of your computer yet? If not, I will be! I am typing fast and hitting the keys with fury!

I have had a great week. Was it perfect? NO way! But it was great. I even had a night where I didn't eat a ton of extra points and not record them! NOT a normal occurence. I need to stop night time eating and will probably have to take on the One Day at a Time practice just as I have with alcohol. This is definitely my biggest challenge.

Down 4.0 pounds (195.2 today)! OMG. This is big. Last week was really, really scary for me! Claire and Fran might not know this, BUT I was at 250 pounds when I started this journey. I hit lifetime about 18 months ago. I have slowly gained a bit over the past year. Lifetime for me is doctor noted at 170. I was at a VERY scary 199.2 weigh in last week! The meeting leader was very supportive and reminded me of where I had been and that it isn't too late to get back in control. I left feeling SUPER motivated. That was on a Wednesday. I have been jumping around meetings and I am sure that hasn't helped. I hadn't been to a Saturday meeting in months...my favorite leader...Working retail, I can always make this meeting. I have friends who can also make this meeting. It is a win, win situation that I haven't been taking advantage of! Slap me now! GUESS what? I type this with GOOSEBUMPS as I type that I have to go back to the meeting next week BECAUSE I grabbed the bull by the horns and SNATCHED the "traveling journal"! They started it at this meeting a month ago! OMG! So I guess the traveling jornal has been spoken for for this week and next:( BUT, I grabbed the darn bull by the horns and shouted, "Why can't there be two traveling journals!?!!!!!!!" and the leader handed me a new journal to take home! I have actual tears as I write this! I get it! I am ready! I am here! I am present! I am doing it! I got home, had my breakfast got out my favorite Sharpies and colored all over the cover of the journal. I wrote on the back, "If I fail to plan, I plan to fail"...I wrote on the inside of the cover, "Being overweight is hard, losing weight is hard, choose your hard!". Then I planned out my goals for the week and planned out my points for today:)

BTW, I. Am. Back! I. Am. Back!

Ramblings From Sunny Cocoa Beach Florida

I have been struggling with my weight the last several months and been hard on myself, but today is a great day despite that:)

Today I ran outside for the first time in almost 4 months. My last run outside was for the Monster Dash Halloween weekend. Today it was a gorgeous day for a run on the beach. I had my new motivational playlist on my ipod and my new grey skirt from Athleta. I was all set for my five mile run. I took this opportunity enjoy the moment to the fullest and really think bout my journey. Four winters ago we made our first visit to Cocoa Beach.

I wasn't running the first year we came. It was a year and a half after my brother had passed away. I was at my all time high of 250 pounds and was drinking a lot at the time. I was very unhappy. Today as I was running I thanked God for giving me the motivation to dig myself out of that dark place.

The second year we came here ihad recently turned 40 and was at the beginning of my sobriety and overall journey to a happy, healthy woman. I had lost about forty pounds and was taining for my first 10K at the ed of April! I remember telling a woman at the pool that I wa on this amazig journey and going to run my first race in a few months. Runnin on the beach was HARD WORK. I could hardly make it to the pier past Ron Johns and back. The last day we were here I had an incredible experience running. I was runnig along the ocean and the sky all around me turned almost black. I was trying to figure out what I would do if iwas caught in a storm. I was really nervous. People were running from the beach. Right then an incredibly motivating song came on and abouth 100 feet of sky right above me cleared and was complete sunshine. It was the craziest thing I have ever experienced. It was as if at that very moment I knew I could beat both my alcoholism and obesity.

Last year i ran my first half marathon at Disney World before we got to Cocoa Beach. I saw that same lady at the pool and she was in awe of what I had accomplished since our last meeting. Running along the beach was much easier than the year before.

This year runningte five miles in the sandwas almost easy. Each year I feel stronger. I am amazed at myself and incredibly proud. I definitely had tears of happiness as I was running. At one point I ran past a bappy couple, gave them the thumbs up and said, "Isn't life great?"

After my run, I got an amazing dose of much needed vitamin D!

Much Better

Today was a HUGE improvement over yesterday eating wise. I did NOT work out though because I hurt my back lifting something I shouldn't have at work yesterday. It feels a little better tonight. I plan on another good eating day and possibly a quick workout on the elliptical tomorrow before work.

I just wanted to check in and say I was back at it today despite some stressful stuff in my personal life!

Three Steps Forward, One Step Back...

I had a bad eating day yesterday:( Dammit. But as always, I learned from it. I feel like crap this morning and not only because I gained a million pounds. I just feel yucky. I know better and really hope I can save my WW weigh in Saturday. I am going to eat 29 points the next few days and drink loads of water. I feel awesome when I eat right. I get mad at myself when I feel like this!!!!! head banging against the wall!

I can do this!

I am going to go plan out my points for and turn this feeling around:)

Feeling GREAT!

I feel like I come here to blog when I get back on track, well I have BEEN ON TRACK for over a week now and thought I'd pop in tonight.

I am pretty proud of how this month is going. It hasn't been perfect by any means, but it has been one of the best ones I have had in a long time. It actually may be one of the most rewarding as far as soul searching goes. As the journey continues I learn more about myself and what really makes me tick. I guess if I didn't, than I would be back at square one and no way no how is that ever going to happen! I may slip up here and there and get off track, but I am not going back to the old me.

I know how to exercise and I know how the endorphins affect me:) I am a happy camper when I work out. I have to work out to stay happy. I am a better mom, wife, daughter, sister, friend and co worker when I am happy. Some people say they don't have time to exercise and eat right. I say I don't have time not to.

I made it through my birthday weekend without overeating. I feel fantastic. I planned out my meals and made good choices. We still went out to eat and yes, I had my mother's coffee whipped cream cake. I didn't over do it though. I feel like I am on top of the world when I can control what I eat. I will make mistakes again, but for now I am high on life and thrilled of how eating right and exercising makes me feel. I just have to have a plan and execute it.

Discoveries In This Journey

While I have been MOSTLY eating right this year, I wouldn't say I have been perfect by any means. I have done a lot of inner reflection and have discovered some things that I would like to share.

First of all, I was WAY too hard on myself post surgery when I couldn't work out for at least six weeks. I was mad at myself for putting on several pounds. It was too painful. I am back to the workouts and my mood has improved. I am moving forward and not looking back.

I LOVE FOOD and I medicate with it when I am stressed, upset or celebrating. Yeah, yeah yeah, I know, I should have realized this long ago. I realized it, but not to the point that I now realize I was using food like I used alcohol. Food makes me feel better right away, BUT NOT long term. I need to treat food like alcohol. If only it was so easy! I can't just stop eating! I have to respect food and know that when I am eating right I feel good All. The. Time. Not just at the moment the food is being consumed. I think about food and WW a lot. That's okay. I used to think about food a lot too. I also thought about how bad I physically felt, how scared I was to have hypertension, that my jeans were uncomfortable and that I had low self esteem. I was embarressed about the way I looked. You could see on the outside how I felt on the inside:( I don't feel awesome right now because I am up 17pounds, but I definitely feel better than when I was 250 pounds.

Logan has been enabling me to eat bad. It's not his fault. I need to have some self control! When I get an unhealthy idea it usually involves driving somewhere to buy it! He will jump in the car and hunt down the Reese's Big Cups, Whoppers, Pizza, or whatever the craving of the day is. Going forward, I will be the person fetching the "treats"...hopefully this will help me use the head on my shoulders!

Lastly, I have been wearing an XL coat I should have donated long ago. I was feeling big and uncomfortable in it and it was bringing me down. I am going to donate it this weekend after I wash it. I dug out my cute medium sized coat and put it on today to drop of Hayden Lee. What an improvement in my mood!

A Little Tidbit I shared On FB today

I faced the music this morning. I was down 4 pounds since yesterday. Yes, I fluctuate! I was up eight from my last weigh in a month ago, but I feel good. I know what I need to do and I have a plan. One of my resolutions is going to stick to my Saturday meeting. It is too much to change meeting days every week. I need to get more consistant. Plus, than I have friends who go with me:) AND I like the leader! I have today planned out food wise. I need to plan out my exercise for the week and my dinners:). Have a great day everyone. We can Do this!

1/1/11:) Happy New Years!!!!!

HAPPY NEW YEARS! Today is my 10 year anniversary of quitting smoking and two years since I quit drinking. Yeah me:). I feel pretty good today. I felt better last year on this day. I have to give myself a break though because I was having a difficult time working out for six weeks after the surgery removing the 6cm by 4cm lump under my breast. Luckily it was nothing, BUT it was very painful to workout during my recovery. When I did try to go back to BodyPump I pulled a different muscle near my breast. I was literally in tears and couldn't lay down for a few nights:( I rested for a few weeks longer and worked out on the elliptical. I love the elliptical, BUT not as my only workout and it does nothing for my mood! I could go on and on and on, but I am guessing you get the picture. It is time to stop looking back and to start fresh.

I am ready to tackle my New Years resolution. I will get to goal and maintain my weight this year. I plan on doing this by planning and executing my meals and exercise. If I fail to plan, I plan to fail. I heard Jillian say this on the Biggest Loser a few yeas ago and it really rings true for me regarding food and exercise. I love planning and I feel like a million dollars when I do, so it seems like a no brainer to me. I plan to make it to BodyPump at least two times each week, Hula Hoop 20 minutes each day and train for a half and full marathon:)

I went through all my old Weight Watchers materials today and threw away the materials that no longer were used with the new Points Plus program. It felt great to purge my WW bag. I made WW crock pot lasagna and can't wait to try it for dinner:). We went to the first BodyPump class of the year and I hooped for twenty minutes. I want to plan out the rest of my week tonight after church and dinner.

Sounds like a great start to 2011 for me:). I hope this blog post leaves you feeling motivated to reach your goals in 2011:) or at least start them!