I cried:(

Yesterday I returned to Dr. Johnson to give her my blood pressure readings. I thought I was just going to drop them off and then they would put them in my file. Wrong! When she saw them she wanted to see me right away. I cried. I couldn't hold back the tears in the examining room when the nurse was prepping me for the visit. I talked to Deb tonight and she said my numbers didn't sound high. I hate the meds I was put on. They are making me jittery. Ugh. I really need to lose weight and get off these meds.

I am down 14 pounds and almost in a size 16 jeans:) I was wearing a size 20 almost a month ago.

Nothing tastes great without salt. I am eating smaller portions and exercising. I need to do this for Logan and the kids. I Will do this. More for health than for looks, although looking better is a nice benefit too:)

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving. I hope to be at 15 pounds lost before the feast at Jenn's house. I do not plan on eating too too much. I may eat alittle more than I have been eating, but I will not go crazy.

Two weeks

Woo hoo! two weeks without beverages.

It is late at night and I just had a wrong number come into my cell phone. It was someone's nurse calling in their patient's blood pressure numbers. How weird is that? I need to take in my readings tomorrow to Dr. Johnson.

I am starving tonight. I can't eat. I want the scale to budge a lot tomorrow:)

Freaking out

I am freaking out a bit tonight as I hope to God I do not have to go on Blood pressure meds. My bp is going down, but not a lot yet. Maybe it takes longer than two weeks. I am hoping Dr. johnson gives me a month or two to get the numbers down before suggesting meds.

No more refined flour. No more sugar. I have had a bit too much sugar the last few days...Ugh.

Long road ahead of me

236 pounds today. Down 13! I feel so much better, but I know I still have a long road ahead of me.

Today I ate mostly okay. Logan says I ate great, but I think I could have done better. Plus, I walked 800 stairs, interval trained for 1/2 an hour on the treadmill and lifted free weights while watching tv. Plus, I shopped a lot at the Mall of America!

Woo hoo!

Down to 237.5! Woo hoo!

I didn't work out today. My legs are very tired from the stepper yesterday. Yikes and Owwy!

I had one bad and one good blood pressure reading today.

I feel better about myself already...doesn't hurt to have cute new boots to wear:)

Down 11:)

238 pounds! Down 11 this morning:)

Ran/walked 1/2 an hour on the treadmill. I stepped 300 steps on the step block. I ate a celery and hummus snack and shared a Skinny Cow ice cream sandwich with the kids.

Happy to be on track:) The blood pressure health scare has really motivated me.

239 pounds:)

I am embarrassed that I am down ten pounds and happy about it, but I am happy and everytime I get down another ten pounds I am going to shout it from the rooftops! Woo freaking woo! I am taking control of my life! I sure hope this helps my blood pressure. I need to do this.

I haven't had wine in eight days and it doesn't seem all that hard. Interesting.

I am off tomorrow. I cannot wait! I really need some time away from work. I will drive Colin to school (with Hayden), work out, shower, play CandyLand with hayden Lee, then pick up Colin from school. We will get Colin a haircut and we will all nap. After dinner we will all watch "The Biggest Loser". I can't wait! It sounds like the perfect day to me:)

It's been seven days

I was 240.5 pounds today and it has been seven nights without my glass or two of wine. I am doing this. I am sooooooo scared of high blood pressure and this is the driving force behind not drinking wine.

I ran 1/2 an hour today. Woo hoo! It was an interval course, so I wasn't running the entire time.

I snacked after the closing shift:( Blood pressure was better:)

Down almost 10 pounds

Still 240.5 darn it. Probably will be tomorrow too since I had a snack after work tonight.

I had a great workout on the treadmill this morning:) 1/2 an hour of interval walking fast/running. The exercise really helps. Really, really helps.

I worked 2-10pm tonight. I had a great Blood pressure reading after work. It was 121/80. It looked good to me:) Please be accurate.

Bad, bad week

Ugh. Bad, bad week. Drank after work Saturday and Sunday, but still ate well. I went to the doctor on Monday to be seen for possible bronchitis. Blood pressure is up again and Dr. Johnson is concerned. I need to focus on diet and exercise. Cut out salt and alcohol. Very bummed that I let blood pressure get high again after working to control it a year ago.

Tuesday I spent the day with my good friend Rose and our daughters. I was a bit down and probably bad company. It was good to talk through my hopes and fears with Rose. I am pretty sure this is the lowest I have felt since the year Mike died. It helped to spend the day with Rose. We ended up going to SuperTarget and spending a lot of money...retail therapy anyone?

A bit under the weather

I am a bit under the weather this week. I have a terrible cold, but work is so stressful I felt I should get on the treadmill this morning regardless of how I feel. The treadmill is a great stress relief. I am down six pounds this week! I am 243! I never thought I'd be happy about that!

Last night I was a bit off program and had a beer and several glasses of wine. I still ate well yesterday and today. I think I may have a loss in the morning. Phase one of Southbeach is awesome because the weight loss is fun to watch. The pounds just slip off. I can and I will do this!

I am so mad I let this happen to me. I was doing so well on the diet a year ago. Life is stressful and I need to stop stress eating.

I keep plugging away at this

After school today Colin asked me if I wanted an Almond Joy bar. I told him I couldn't and he asked me when I'd be able to eat one. Ummm...NEVER! I know I can do this. I know I can. I am still avoiding full length mirrors because I am disgusted in what I see, but I know it will be gone...eventually. There should be a noticeable difference in two months or so. I really believe this is my last hope and last time losing weight. I am going to succeed.

Made it through day two!

I made it through day two today:) I woke up three pounds lighter today:) Down to 246 pounds. Yikes, that's a lot:( I am really starting to look at myself in the mirrors at work and I am not at all pleased with what I see. I am so sad I let myself get so out of shape. I am glad I am striving for a better body and health, I just wish I didn't have to:(

The private adoption board I am on has a special forum for weight loss. I have nine buddies who have decided to take charge and lose weight, which is helpful to me bigtime. I need support and alittle competition.

I worked out this morning. Thirty minutes on the elliptical. Then I walked to SuperTarget with the kids. Plus I think I did thirty laps around the store tonight:) Robin taught me some side exercise. Yeah! I feel like I am on my way back to life!

OOPS! Fell off the plan:(

YIKES! I fell off the plan Again. Now I am 249 pounds and saw 250 once! My sister in law Jonna is right, I AM FAT! She still shouldn't have said it though.

I am giving the South Beach Diet (way of living) ago of it again. It's been my most successful diet in the past. I feel as if I am almost to the point of no return weight wise. I need to start doing something and I needed to start it yesterday! I started phase one today and was very on target. I worked out too. fifteen minutes on the treadmill, twenty minutes on the elliptical, 40 squats and 100 sit ups. I feel better already!