Five Days 'til Christmas, 12 'til the New Year

Broken record time again...seriously, why can't I just stay on track? Or am I just doing this the lifestyle way which is indulding some times and then being on the straight and narrow most of the time? Maybe I should change the way I think about this thing and just except that I cannot be perfect all the time. WOW, I may have just had a breakthrough! Up, down, up, down...I want to be down more of the time! Who doesn't though:)? I am just sick of the fluctuations. It's terrible. Yesterday I was up 12 pounds from eight days ago and today I am up 5. I have crazy water weight fluctuations. All. The. Time! That is something I need to remember!

I am excited about Christmas and New Years. I cannot wait for the kids to get their presents:) I am excited to spend quality time with my husband, kids and parents. I feel very blessed. I have to remember it's about the magic of the day and being around people I love and NOT neccessarily the FOOD.

The other day I had an awful thought enter my mind. Since I have had a few bad days of eating maybe I should just continue down this road for a few more weeks and start fresh in the New Year and get back on track then. That was a terrible idea and I saw the light quickly! I am going to get through this holiday and continue to keep my health my priority. I feel younger now than I did ten years ago and want to continue feeling this way.

New Years is special to me. I have two special anniversaries on New Years. This year it will be 10 years since I gave up smoking for GOOD! It has been two years since I said goodbye to what I thought was a good friend and chose exercise over alcohol as my stress relief.

Merry Christmas! I hope your holiday is Happy, healthy and safe. God Bless you!

Went To My WW Weigh In a Day Early...

Since there is a snowstorm heading our way, I thought I would go the WW today. I had an awesome week. Mostly stayed at my daily points goal plus I averaged about four weekly points per day. I was down 5.0 pounds this week! I feel like I am on the Biggest loser with a weigh in like that:) Yeah!!!!!! I have to keep this up! 10 pounds and I will be back to goal. I cannot believe I was up 14 MORE pounds a month ago.

12 pounds 'til goal:)

Yes, yes, yes! Finally back on track and doing well for WEEKS! I haven't had a string of good eating and exercise in like forever! This year has been very challenging for me, but what a learning experience! I never thought this would be easy. But I didn't imagine it would continue to be so challenging. I continued to gain weight throughout the year. Finally, about a month ago I got back on pogram:). I feel great. I love how it feels to be in control of what goes into my body. Why I don't remember this at times I am weak will always be a puzzle to me!

Today I am on day 22 of hooping 40 minutes a day. I am down 12 pounds in the past month. I have embraced the new WW PointsPlus program and I am doing it. Now I just need to get back to my goal weight and keep it there or lower:)

Thanks again for all the wonderful support! I couldn't do it without sooooo many of you!

And last, BUT not least, Happy Birthday Mike! I love you!

Love, Love Love feeling Motivated!

I has been MONTHS since I have really felt motivated or even a little bit in control. I have over two weeks of eating well, exercising hard and hooping forty minutes/day under my belt and I feel FANTASTIC! I haven't felt like this in a LONG time.

I was down 3.2 pounds this week at my weigh in. I have 15 to get back to lifetime. I am going to see this thing through. Thanks to my many friends who have been there for me on this journey. I especially want to thank Erin and Rose. Erin holds me accountable each day twice a day through messages. Rose continues to go to the meetings with me most Saturdays. Thanks to everyone who has clicked the "like" button each time I reach out with a success or challenge on fb. Thanks for the wall posts and the private messages. Everytime I get a message or post from you saying I have inspired or motivated you, I in turn am motivated and inspired by you. Thank you all!

What an awesome day I am having:)

Day four Of the "New" WW

I am really starting to like the changes WW has made. I think mostly I like being motivated again:) I think change is good. I don't always embrace change, but think it's important in this case.

Yes, it is annoying because I don't know everything, but that will come with time. I cannot have everything memorized over night:)

Tonight we are trying the four point "Easy Fried Rice". I found the recipe in the new PointsPlus guide. We are adding shrimp to it. I will let you know how it turns out.

I have the best success losing when I do not eat my weekly points. I am going to see how it goes for a week and see if I feel like I am feeling deprived or not.

EDITED to add: LOVED the four point "easy fried rice" with large shrimp...added two points for the shrimp. YUMMY. Logan LOVED it too! It was amazing. I would LOVE it NOT on WW too!

Weight Watchers ramblings...

I know, ENOUGH ALREADY about the new WW roll out! I wish it were that easy. I have been with the last program since I started my new lifestyle, so changing has been hard. I am starting to like it. And yes Kim, I did buy the calculator. I also bought the three month journal:) The calculator is key for me. I need to get my favorite food points memorized. STAT. I got the info Monday night and Tuesday was my trial run. I was surprised to see peas went up to 3 points:( I love peas and will still eat them, but not nearly as often. At least brussel sprouts are still zero points:) Last night I read the starter book for a bit before falling asleep. I am enjoying reading it just as much as I enjoy going through old journals...I am getting inspired and motivated. I am ready to get this thing done:)

A Quick Post While I Hula Hoop

I went to a Weight Watchers meeting last night to learn about the new program they rolled out this week. I didn't weigh in because you can only weigh in once a week and I plan on weighing in on Saturday and going to another meeting. The new program is rubbing me the wrong way right now, BUT I am sure I will like it once I get used to all the changes and have some of my favorite food points memorized. Maybe I was getting too comfortable with the old way. I have been eating on track and not losing as much as I think I should be losing. I had a difficult time sleeping last night. I couldn't get the new program off my mind...I am already feeling better 23 hours after first hearing about all changes:)

Ramblings On A Rainy November Day

So much to say and not quite sure where to start. Maybe I should start by saying I am thrilled to be on track for nine days straight:). Followed by the fact that I am up 4 pounds today from yesterday! What the &$@#%? It is total water retension and I know that, BUT it still makes me crazy! I feel terrific being on track! I love being in control and I also like how my body feels when I eat right. When I make crappy food choices I NEED a big dose of TUMS.

It also feels great to hoop every day. I have been hooping 40 minutes a day for the past 10 days. I cannot say enough great things about my weighted hula hoop. I wonder how many people I have influenced to get one? It is unbelievable:) I am really enjoying the elliptical too. I did the interval program today at level 20 and it wasn't too bad. Tomorrow I will do the cardio program and enjoy it:) Hopefully!

I am sooooooo excited to see the changes Weight Watchers is unveiling this week. I may even go in tonight to buy a new points calculator and journal. I Love WW.

That's about it for now. Tired and hoping to cat nap on the couch as Hayden Lee watches NIC.

17 pounds to go

I have 17 pounds until I am back to lifetime at WW:). I hope to do this by Christmas. It may seem a little fast, but I want to get there so I do not need to get any more vouchers from Gap. You see, I prepay through work and then attend most of the meetings before I get reimbursed. I don't want to purchase several more vouchers when I am so close to getting back there.

I had another awesome workout this morning. Level 16 on the elliptical is kicking my butt! I am still unable to run, so this is the next best workout. Logan even did level 16 again today. I only wish he hadn't said it was like going through mud because that is was I thought most of my 45 minute workout today. I ate really well today and have the rest of the week planned out. Today will be the fourth day in a row of hooping. I had really missed my hoop. I love how quickly it tightens up my abs. Like my mom says, "best $40 you ever spent":)

I am on my way down and so excited!

P.S. Mel, if you are reading this, your message to me today was one of the sweetest things anyone has said to me in a LONG time:) When I first lost the weight I was getting positive feedback All. The. Time. Your words today were just what I needed to hear to help push me to the next level. Thank you!

Ramblings About Keeping the Weight OFF

I am trying to get back on track and stay on track. I have been struggling for several months. I do well for a few days eating wise and then I have several bad eating days. What the heck is wrong with me? I feel like I have been dancing this dance since about February. I need to get a good month of eating right strung together. I am up twenty pounds from where I was a year ago at Thanksgiving when I was my lowest weight in my adult life. I felt a little uncomfortable at that weight, BUT more comfortable then what I weigh now. Right now I am feeling gross. I just do not feel good at this weight. I know what to do, but I sabotage myself.

Two weeks ago I was seven pounds heavier than I am today, so I am going in the right direction. I had a GREAT day eating wise yesterday and I pushed myself on the elliptical. I also hooped forty minutes and drank a lot of water. I feel so much better this morning than I have in awhile.

I am making a commitment NOT to gain any weight between Thanksgiving and Christmas. I plan on losing at least ten pounds before New Years and hopefully fifteen. There, I said it. I have a goal and I am going to achieve it!

Have a great day.

I would love it if you left a comment:)

Hypertension=RESOLVED!

I have been working towards this for two years! It was the beginning of November 2008 when I first realized how much stress I had been putting on my body. Yes, there had been signs before the dreaded conversation with Dr. Johnson about my blood pressure, but none as clear as the word hypertension. I told my doctor that I was going to do something about this and I was going to get healthy. I am sure she didn't believe me. I was practically morbidly obese at 250 pounds. She also warned me that I may not be able to lower my blood pressure even IF I lose the weight. I wanted to give it my best shot.

After the high reading she sent me home with the instructions to take my blood pressure readings a few times a day. I was to record them and make an appointment to see her again in two weeks. I went back with my readings, she wasn't pleased, and she put me on 10mg of lisinopril. I stayed on this dose for almost a year, then she took me down to a 5mg dose. We tried at one point to take me off the 5mg dose, but it didn't work.

I was actually suprised last month when she took me off the meds again. She was so excited that I had my first EVER low reading at the doctor's office and was determined to try it again. I was cautiously optimistic when she told me to go off the medicine and start taking my readings again.

I went to see Dr. Johnson this morning. She was so excited to tell me I was off the meds. She even said I don't need to check back in six months. She said, "You have to watch this as I change your records" and she clicked on my Hypertension status and clicked "resolved". Wow. I could almost cry.

Dr. Johnson is proud of me. She was beaming from ear to ear today. She is thrilled to see me everytime I go into the office. She always lets me know that what I have done with my body and my health is not something many people can accomplish. I am proud of what I have done. My only regret is that I didn't do this earlier in my life. I hope I can inspire at least one person today.

Tears of happiness.

Don't Faint, I Blogged Two Days in a Row!

First off, I am down 4.5 pounds in two days:). That tells me I was really off track AND that Weight Watchers works when I work the program:). I am thankful to have realized it before I gained too much weight. This is quite the journey and one that is never done.

For two years I have been eating the SAME breakfast! I love my veggy burger and sandwich thin for breakfast:). If I eat this breakfast, I am NOT guarenteed a perfect day of eating BUT if I eat something other than this I most often fail. Today I realized I haven't REALLY been eating the same thing everyday. There have been variations of this meal:). I started with a plain veggy burger and moved onto a spicy black bean burger or even a chicken patty burger. I have ditched the sandwich thin for a bagel thin:). Sometimes I enjoy my sandwich with some yellow mustard. Sometimes with ketchup. Sometimes both ketchup and yellow mustard. In the summer I add a fresh tomato slice and fat free mayo. Other times I add a slice of low fat cheese. If I am in a rush and eating breakfast on the go, I have the bagel thin and a burger without any condiments.

That's all for today. Just wanted to share my success on the scale and share my favorite variations of breakfast!

Where Does the Time Go?

I recently reconnected with an old friend through facebook. She is on a similar journey of weight loss and finding herself and happiness. I sent her to this blog to give her a little background into my journey. Today I opened my blog for the first time in a LONG time and realized that I haven't written in FOREVER! And you know what that means? I haven't been as committed as I'd like to be with all the aspects of being healthy. Even my seven year old is aware of my lack of keeping on track. This morning I said I needed to get on track and I saw the typical eye roll of someone who has heard this a time too many! So this is it. I know I sound like a broken record, but that is okay. I am ready to commit to healthy eating again.

Being on Weight Watchers makes it easy to get focused again. I have continued to run, hula hoop, go to BodyPump, take my supplements, read the latest health magazines, drink some water and stay sober. Staying sober is not a requirement of a a healthy lifestyle, but it is to mine. The part that I sometimes lose focus on is the eating right part. Even Logan has mentioned we have been slacking for quite awhile. With Weight Watchers I can get off track for a day and get back on without any ramifications. BUT several days off, a few days on, several days off, is NOT productive to weight loss and actually makes one gain weight:( I am up several pounds and do not feel good. What the heck, I may as well spill it and get it all out in the open. Like you can't see it anyways! I am up 23 pounds! Yikes! I was up 26pounds yesterday, so I have made a little progress. Actually, that was hard to do, but I feel better being open and honest about it. I don't think anyone else can REALLY tell, but I can. I am very uncomfortable at this weight. I even had a night mare last night that one of my friends from the Y noticed I had gained weight!

So today, I want to make a commitment to get back on track eating wise. I also want to make a promise to myself and anyone else who may happen upon my blog that I will write every week. How does that sound? It sounds like a good start to me:)

Have a great day!

P.S. Carrie, Thanks for inspiring me!

Back on Track finally...let's stay on track this time!

Two weeks ago I finally faced the music. I had NOT been eating right. We were eating out at Noodles and Chipoltle. It's not that I can't eat these things on Weight Watchers. I can, but not entire meals and certainly not more than once a week! You would think the scale would be scaring me each day that I got on it, but for some reason it wasn't. It was creeping up and up. It was almost 20 pounds over my goal weight when I realized I was in trouble. Not only was I feeling alittle sluggish, I was struggling to get my rings on and off and that was with LOTS of soft soap. I was having a tough time. I was getting anxious about the changes at work and was worried that if I didn't get a handle on my eating before the move I might really gain weight! This may not seem like a big deal to some people, but my mood is greatly affected by how I feel and if I don't feel good I cannot be a good mom, wife, friend or employee. So it is very important to me and I need to keep an eye on it by eating right and working out:)

I continued going to my Weight Watchers weigh ins and meetings the several months I went astray. It made it easier to get back on course two weeks ago when I really got back on track. I was trying to help a friend lose some weight for her adoption and decided I should really get back to it too. At the same time another friend asked me to help her get back on track. Little did she know that by asking me, she was helping me. So for two weeks we have been helping each other. We hold each other accountable and check in twice a day at least:). We tell each other about our strengths and weaknesses. We also report our daily workouts. This, eating healthy and within my points and exercising has helped me through a problem spot.

Two and a half weeks back on program and now I am eight pounds above my goal weight. What have I learned? I cannot let my guard down for months at a time. An off day every once in awhile is perfectly fine and good for me, but the days cannot turn into weeks and months.

Most of all, I would like to thank my friend Erin. Without you, I could not have done this. I would also like to thank my husband for understanding my needs and helping by cooking us healthy dinners:)

I am running another marathon!

Congratulations! You are officially registered for the 35th anniversary of Grandma's Marathon on June 18, 2011. We are looking forward to welcoming you to Duluth, and providing you with a world-class race.

June 2010 Our First Marathon

AND our last marathon, if you asked us Saturday after the race! We felt ready for the race, but looking back now I know I could have been better prepared. Yes, I did my long runs, but I wish I had felt stronger during the race. I could still stand to lose some weight and I think my time of 5:20 reflected that. I might be wrong about this. I am still VERY proud that I ran a marathon. At the beginning of the race a woman told us that only 1% of the population ever runs a marathon. I just looked up that silly statistic and it is TRUE! 1-2% of the population ever runs a marathon. I am in that percentage and I feel great about that! I finished and wasn't anywhere near the last runner:)

Why did we sign up for a marathon? Many people wondered this and I did too! When we were looking at our calendars in January we were looking for a race we could run on our anniversary weekend. That same day of the discussion registration for Grandma's Marathon had opened! It felt like a sign at the time. During the race it felt more like a curse! I had no idea running a marathon would be so stinking hard. It was by far one of the hardest things either of us has ever done. Ever.

The day we ran our first LONG run, I was ready to back out of the marathon. I got this grand idea that I would be able to switch from the full to the half marathon. All hopes of that idea went out the door when I got home and looked on the Internet:( I was nervous about the marathon. I was committed to doing it and wanted to finish. I felt like I had to finish because I never wanted to run another one. After finding that I couldn't switch, I embraced the inevitable and gave it my best.

We dropped the kids off at my parents house on Friday morning and headed to Duluth. We checked into our hotel room and headed to get our race numbers and info. We walked from our hotel to the sports center, approximately a mile. We walked around a bit before having a BIG pasta dinner. The best part of the dinner was the white bread:) We haven't had that kind of bread in a LONG time! Yummy! After the spaghetti dinner we went to watch the Grandma's 5K. It was fun to cheer on the runners before heading back to our hotel.

We got back to the hotel and set out our stuff for the early start the next morning. We put the timing chips on our shoes. We set two alarm clocks and took showers. We were in bed really early and watched the weather forecast for the following morning. 5am came way too quickly. I was so excited and scared. We had to catch the bus for the starting point by 6am.

The bus ride to the race starting area was the longest bus ride EVER. I was getting so nervous at how far 26.2 miles actually was in a (mostly) straight line! I think it took us 25 minutes to get to the starting line! We finally got off the bus and headed to the start/porta potty line. The nerves were really getting to me. After that we ran into some people we knew from the YMCA and chatted with them for a bit before heading back to the Porta potty! Did I mention I was nervous? The National Anthem was sung and then there was a fly by of F15s before the race started. It was time! All the anticipation was over and it was time to run 26.2 miles. I couldn't believe I was running a marathon.

A lot of times in a race with 6,000 runners it is pretty close quarters in the first few miles, but it didn't seem bad this time. It opened up pretty quickly. The first 5K was a breeze! I would say the first 13.1 miles coasted by pretty quickly and without much pain. By mile 16 many of the people around me had started to walk. There were several water stops along the way. I took water every time there was a chance. After the halfway point I started to take the ice too. I didn't drink all the water nor did I eat all the ice. I just needed some hydration. I also took most of the sponges of water offered at several of the later water stops. Not only did I stop at the water stops, but I also stopped at porta potties three times along the way! I also stopped by one of the professional photographers to get a photo of me applying lipstick during the marathon:) I didn't see anyone else with lipstick!

I am not entirely sure, but I think it was mile 14 where I noticed the first "first aide/drop out" spot. There were very clear signs. It was 500 feet, then 200 feet, then there was an army truck. It was tempting each and every time I saw a drop out spot. I wanted to stop, but I couldn't. I had to finish. I am thankful for my ipod because it helped keep the mental part of the race in check. It wasn't until about mile 19 that things got really bad for me. My knees were killing me and the ibuprofen wasn't working one bit. I just kept going. People were walking all around me. I tried walking, but my knees hurt more, so I kept running. I walked about 2.5 blocks the entire race. One lady I was chatting with kept telling me how bad the Lemon Drop hill was and that I should try to keep going and just not stop. It was nothing compared to the hills in the Minneapolis Half marathon!

Once we got into town it took FOREVER to get to the finish line. It was only about two miles, but it seemed so much farther. I found several friends along the way. People I had never met before but who wanted to chat along the shores of Lake Superior. Some chatted about motherhood, some about adoption, and some about their journeys that lead them to a marathon. One lady I met in the beginning and then again around mile 18. She was so excited for me because she remembered it was my first marathon. There was a lady I met in the last mile and she ended up thanking me at the finish line because she felt I really helped her get there. Little did she know she was the one lifting me up! When we finally rounded the last corner, I was so thankful to see the balloons lining the ending clock. It was almost over. I heard my name over the PA and crossed the line. Finally, I could be done. A gentleman handed us flowers and another one put a medal around our necks. I could hear my husband yelling, "Annie!" through the crowd. I was so relieved to see him. We did it! We got our official photo taken together and then hobbled over to the free goodies. I think I inhaled five salted nut rolls right then and there! I also ate a banana and dippin dots:)

We could think of nothing but taking a shower and collapsing in our hotel bed. We hobbled the mile back to our hotel. It was VERY SLOW GOING. Every step was more painful than the last. After showers I iced my knees and slept a bit. My stomach was funky from the three gel packs I had during the race. I felt pretty bad. After about four hours we drove to Red Lobster to have dinner. We did call ahead to see if they had parking because there was no way we were going to go to a restaurant we had to walk to!

Logan ran fast, but must have looked awful at one point because a gentleman running the marathon asked him his name and started to pray for him during the race! That really scared me when he told me this! he said he walked 3-4 miles. His knees still hurt three days later.

The highlight of my run was the ONE Jolly Rancher I got from a chicken at one of the water stops! Seriously was amazing!

At the restaurant we totally agreed we would NEVER run another marathon. The next day I started contemplating running it again next year! Time will tell:)

Minneapolis Half Marathon June 6th, 2010

There are days in your life that you will never forget and this was one of those days. To say it was awesome would be an understatement.

I think I was crying about mile ten. Not because I was hurting, although that would have been a good reason:), but because I was so grateful to run this race. A lot goes through ones mind when they accidentally leave their iPod at home on race day. The farther I go on this journey, the more I realize how much my life has changed for the better. I just cannot believe I was 250 pounds two years ago. I cannot believe I used to smoke and drink. I cannot believe I couldn't run a mile 18 months ago and am running my first marathon in ten days! Yikes, that particular thought makes me a tad bit nervous! A marathon? These are the thoughts going through my head as I am dodging potholes and stopping at the water stops. I am not writing this to pat myself on the back, just to share what runs through my mind as I running 13.1 miles!

I ran the half in 2:17:02. It was seven minutes faster than my Disney Half. The last mile of the race was Brutal. The hill was very steep. I did it.

I made some new friends too:). Funny that I would make friends on the train at 5:43 on a Sunday morning! That's another benefit to this lifestyle. I would never have been up and on the train at this unGodly hour two years ago. Don't get me wrong, I'm still NOT a morning person, but will get up at this hour to run:) Great runs Mary and Tiffany! Next race I plan on crossing the finish line next to you two! Thanks for waiting for me at the finish line...that was amazing:)

I am scared of the marathon, but also excited! I cannot wait to get to the finish line! I bought us shirts and we are getting our names screen printed on them. I need the cheerleaders at Grandma's to Holler my name along the race route! Go us!

Edited to add: The race route went under SEVERAL bridges which is challenging for the Mom in me. I train with my kids and we have to yell "Echo!" under every bridge we go under, so I was the freak hollering under each and every bridge I ran under!

Edited, edited to add: Logan ran the half in 1:52:39! I am so stinking proud of my him!

And one last edit: THANK YOU MOM AND DAD for taking our children overnight so that we could do this! You made this possible for us and we appreciate it! We also appreciate you taking care of Hayden when a twenty mile run is far too long for her to be stuck in a jogger!

Today I amazed myself

I ran 19 miles today. As you can imagine, I had a lot of time to think as I was running! There were several a ha moments as I ran and ran and ran. Mostly I cannot believe I almost let my life slip away from me. It is still hard to believe how much has changed in the past year and a half. Two years ago we were smack dab in the middle of cleaning out my mother in law's estate. At this point my sister in law had not called me "fat" yet, well not to my face anyways:). I had a "uniform" I always wore. It was a comfy skirt and black shirt. I think I wore it five days a week. I couldn't tell I was putting on weight because I was too comfortable in the knit skirt with the yoga like roll down waist band. Did I mention yet that I was completely depressed too? I was still mourning the death of my brother and now helping Logan through the loss of his mother. I was walking a bit, but not eating right and partaking in a lot of red wine and lienenkugels berry viesse beer. Not a great combo. I know many of you know my story. Sometimes it is good for me to reflect on the changes.

Sooooooo anyways, as I was running I was basking in my successes. I do not mean for this to sound cocky. It is just what it is. I was miserable and found a way back to life. Back to a life I hadn't known before. The last eighteen months have been amazing. If you told me when I was 250 pounds and depressed that I would be where I am today, I would never have believed you.

In closing, if I can do this, than anyone can. I honestly believe that. If you need support, I am here for you.

Thanks for all the support from from family, friends irl and online and all those people who have noticed and said something to me. I could not have done this without all of you! Much love!

Thank God I got rid of the "Fat Pants"

Seriously, Thank God! As I lost weight I got rid of the 20s and 18s that I had to order online because they didn't sell the extended sizes in the store. Then I got rid of the 16s, the 14s, the 12s, the 10s and the 8s. Everytime I lost enough weight to get rid of a size of clothing, I got together stuff for Goodwill and donated it that day. It was like a cleansing. It felt AWESOME. I had heard in a few Weight Watchers meetings that I should get rid of the clothes that no longer fit me. That by keeping them, I was keeping a "safety net".

Last week I experienced what it was like to NEED that "safety net". It should not have been a shock. The scale had been creepy upwards for a few weeks and my eating was out. of. control! I went to put on some of my favorite Banana Republic jeans and could NOT get them zipped! I started to sweat as I tried on other jeans that wouldn't zip either. I was in panic mode. Omg, how did I let this happen? What can I do to fix this? "Okay, calm down" I told myself. Stop freaking out and make a plan! So that day, after eating a very salty hoagie from Fat Lorenzo's the night before, I weighed 186.5! 16.5 pounds higher than my lifetime weight! So I got back on plan that day. I got out my Weight Watchers Journal and planned out my foods for that day. I drank lots and lots of water and was able to lose a lot of weight in a few days. Six days ago I freaked out. This morning I weighed 178.5:) Thank God I didn't have the "safety net"!

My First Half Marathon

This was one of the best days of my life! No lie! Seriously. I did it. Words cannot express what this day meant to me, but I will try!

The night before the race we got to bed by 9pm. I had to leave the condo by 4:20am to get to Disney around 4:30am! Did I say I? yes I did. We decided I would drive myself to the race and run it without a family fan club. They would NOT enjoy their day if they got up at 4am. Well, Hayden Lee may have, but no one else would have! She's our early riser. I wasn't at all bothered by this. I wasn't running this race for anyone but myself. I was nervous of the parking situation at Epcot, but only because I had no idea of what to expect. After almost forgetting my coffee (what was I thinking!?) I made it on the road about 4:25am. Wowza. I am NOT a morning person! You would not believe the traffic at Walt Disney World that morning. It was CRAZY! I was in total disbelief. I finally got into the Epcot parking lot around 4:45 am and was parked in the very last row of the parking lot.

After parking the car, I had a little twinge of sadness that I was alone. Many people were arriving with two or three people they were running the race with and here I was all by my lonesome. Before heading to the starting line, I found the line to the porta potty and met some ladies. We chatted while we waited the 20 minutes for the bathroom. One of the ladies was alone and we chatted a bit, although the only thing we had in common, AT ALL, was running. After the bathroom stop we headed over the the starting corral for our grouping. It was a twenty minute walk to the start area. We were in the second corral. Each corral was set up by proof of race time. Since I had sent in my proof of race time from the Monster ten mile race I was able to be in corral B to start the race. So much excitement in Corral B. People were chatting about the other races they had done. There were many ladies dressed as pricesses! There was a princess host near the starting line chatting away to the crowd on her microphone. She was making jokes about things like wishing she had bought stock in tutus! There were quite a lot of tutus, that's for sure! Then a blast of fireworks went high in the sky for the elite runners to start the race! Everyone was screaming! Then the fireworks for corral A followed by loud cheers! Then the fireworks for corral B. Woohoo! We were off! It was just a few minutes after 6am and my dream race was starting:)

Grey's is on, so I will have to come back to this later! Five days later...Kim, sorry to keep you hanging for soooo long! I hope the rest of the post is as amazing as my race was!

It was starting to get light out as we were running from Epcot to The Magic Kingdom, a road we had driven several times in the past few years. As the sun started to come up there was smog along the water at the side of the road. Trams were passing and honking as they were driving our cheerleaders to The Magic Kingdom. the runners were waving and hollaring to the trains. People were starting to shed their layers. There were people along the side of the road picking up the layers as we dropped them. The layers would be donated. The mile one marker was fast approaching. It was a beautiful painting. It had the time marked on it. After the marker there were Disney Characters waiting to have their pictures taken with the runners. The pros stopped and had a photo taken:) I wasn't stopping for anything:) I didn't want to slow down my time! each mile mark had a different painting and different characters to take photos with. it was fun to watch as I ran past. I was in shock that people would stop to take photos during a race, but still thought it looked like fun:)

Right before we got to the Magic Kingdom parking lot I shed my extra large Addidas jacket. It was a little big, but something I had enjoyed wearing for the past year. I felt like I was actually shedding a layer of myself like I have in the past year and a half. It was liberating. As we were about to enter the parking lot, we went by the raceway. You know the one where you hear the race cars roaring by as you park to get into Disney? Well it was soooo cool. One of the race cars was parked outside the track and we ran right by it. By the car there were several race car drivers cheering us on! They were not half bad looking either, who cares if they were being paid to be there!

Some of My Favorite Foods:)

Several friends have asked me what I eat on a day to day basis. I have promised to blog about my menus and favorite foods. Today I am going to list some of my very favorite foods and their point values:) I may or may not get to my menus, depending how long Hayden Lee naps for this afternoon:)

A list of items I ALWAYS have on hand:

*Trader Joe's Veggie Sticks-Potato snacks (50 sticks=3 points)
*low fat Trisquits (7=2 points)
*low fat soups like Trader Joe's buttermilk squash or low point broth soups from Target
*cooked fresh broccoli or cooked frozen Brussels sprouts or any other veggies with nothing added to them. I have a container of cooked veggies in my fridge at all times. I add these to my soups and/or snack on them when I am hungry and have little or no points left for the day. Broccoli and Brussels sprouts are zero point foods:)
*Fresh fruits and veggies. (Most raw veggies are zero points and most fruits are one point per cup)
*low fat mozzarella cheeses sticks (1=1 point)
*Trader Joe's Edamame hummus (2 Tbsp=2 points) . Good with fresh vegetables and/or low fat Trisquits
*Trader Joe's low fat Tzatziki creamy garlic cucumber dip (2 Tbsp=1 point). I love this with my Garden burger in the morning or on Trisqits)...ladies, I do not eat more than a serving and a half of Trisuits a day, even though it may seem like it from this blog post!
*Vegan veggy burgers. It doesn't matter what brand. (I have found that if they are 1.5 grams of fat or less they are one point per burger)
*Arnold's Sandwich Thins. These are found in the bread isle. They are like a bun, only less fluffy. I toast both sides together on one side of the toaster and have that with my veggy burger EVERY DAY for breakfast. The burger cooks for 4 minutes each side and is great with mustard (zero points) or the above mentioned Tzatziki dip. (1 sandwich thin =1 point)
*herbal teas are great. They help me get in my water and I love the taste of them with one added fake sugar. I love the peppermint or any of the berries.
*Weight Watchers frozen Latte Bars (1=1 point) I have one of these each night after the kids head to bed, otherwise they are so yummy they want to eat the whole thing!
*Original Fiber One Cereal (1/2 cup=zero points)
*Dannon Fit and Light yogurt (1 serving=1 point)
*Fiber One bars. I LOVE the Oats and Chocolate flavor. DO NOT EAT MORE THAN ONE! (one bar=2 points)

These are my All time favorites. I always start my day the same...with coffee and my veggie burger on a sandwich thin. 2 points.

Lunch is 1 serving of soup, veggies added to it. 50 veggy fries and 7 Trisqits. 6 points.

Snacks(vary): Yogurt with one cup of fruit and Original Fiber One cereal(2 points), 7 Trisuits and a cheese stick (3 points), hummus and carrots (2 points), banana (2 points), ect.

Dinner varies, but always around 6-10 points. We have Subway sandwiches once a week:) Our favorite is the 6 inch chicken breast on whole wheat with white American cheese and ALL the vegetables. We top it with the Sweet Onion sauce. eight points. This is awesome with a cup of grapes:)

That's it for now. I will go through my weekly plan tonight or tomorrow sometime so you can get an idea of how I plan the week in advance, which is working out really well for me! Thanks for reading. If you have any ideas for me, I would LOVE to hear them. Just respond here:)

Edited to add, down to 170 lbs today:) down six from the last time I posted:)

Yikes, last week was BAD!

So, as I promised Kim, I would also blog about the not so On Program weeks and last week was one of them. I took a break from exercising and eating right:( I couldn't exercise due to a very sore knee (I think from lifting too many weights during lunges) and added insult to injury by not paying attention to what I was eating. Well I was paying attention, but not in a good way! I was craving peanut butter and marshmallow cream and eating it like it was going out of style. I was also over indulging in "lite" peanut butter and chocolate ice cream! Lite meaning only 12 grams of fat per serving. I wish I was only treating myself to a serving! I ate so much one night that I had to replenish it the next day before Logan would notice! Not that he would ever care or say anything! He is the most supportive person I know.

I was so sad last week. Not exercising really affects me. I need the endorphins I get from exercising. I need them almost everyday. I am proud of myself for taking a break to let my knee heal, but it wasn't easy and I felt quite down:( I want to run the half marathon in March and think I can, but if I have to walk it, I will.

Yesterday I woke up and decided I would be On Program for the entire week. My eating week starts on Saturday because I usually go to my Weight Watchers meetings on Saturdays. It's not that I always start over on Saturdays. Sometimes I start over on a Monday or Tuesday. I just do best when I start fresh with my counting on a Saturday. I planned my entire day and stuck to it. Today I woke up and planned our family dinners for the entire week and wrote the points in my points journal. When I don't have a plan, I plan to fail (complements of Jillian). So I planned my week. I feel armed and reading to get back on track. I can do this.

I was able to run on Saturday and ran 3.96 miles. My knee did NOT hurt while I was running. I almost cried on the treadmill I was so happy to be running. I was alittle sore walking afterwards and iced my knee when I got home from the YMCA. It felt alright most of the time I worked and then I iced it again before bed. This morning it was perfect. No more pain. I gave myself a rest day. Tomorrow, I will run again:)

I was 176 pounds this morning, which is three pounds less than two days ago. I fluctuate. A LOT.

So there you have it. My crappy week in a nutshell!

The highlight of my week? Being welcomed back to the YMCA by Tiffany:) Wowza, that was awesome! If you are reading this Tiffany, those few words meant the world to me.

Edited to add an email I just sent to a friend which says it all:

I tried getting under 200 pounds for years, so I totally understand the frustration you are feeling. You just need to string a lot of days together and get through it. If you eat candy, start again with the next meal. Try not to have any of your trigger foods at home. I still have problems with trigger foods and probably will forever, which sucks, but it is what it is. I hate having to worry about it, but I have to. Ugh. I don't know if it helps to tell you I too struggle, but I do. The good thing though is I feel positive and excited to be back at it again. AND I am so proud of myself when I eat clean. I will have a good week. I have to, I cannot have another week like last week.

Weight Loss is more than just about Looks

On our way to the YMCA today I told the kids I wasn't looking forward to BodyPump. They were shocked and wondered why I was going to the class. I told them because it's good for me and sometimes we have to work out even when we do not want to. Colin said, "like when I don't want to go to Tae Kwon Do?" I said, "yes, and how do you feel after Tae Kwon Do?" and he said he felt better. I said, "EXACTLY! I will feel better after the workout!" And I did.

I have been reading my journal entries and realized a lot is about how I feel about my looks BUT weight loss is so much more than that. I compiled a list with my husband about all the things that have changed about me in the past 15 months.

They are not necessarily in order of importance, but rather how they popped into our heads:)

*I am sick less often (I used to get bronchitis whenever the kids had a cold)
*I am off my blood pressure meds
*I can shop in stores and not online for the extended sizes for Gap/Old Navy
*I can fit in regular sized bathroom stalls with the kids
*I have confidence and am no longer ashamed
*I have More energy
*I Can push my body to limits I never thought possible...I can run ten miles!
*I am happy
*I am not afraid of the camera. Now the kids can have photos with their mommy
*I have smaller shoes
*I am no longer short of breath after a flight of stairs
*I am meeting people and things in common with people I never thought possible
*My spirit is back
*I am more cheerful and optimistic (I wrote "more", not ALWAYS!)
*I can fit on the rides at the amusement park
*I can take a day or two off from healthy eating and know that it's okay.
*I enjoy the waterparks with my family
*I am treating myself better (spa day!)

Wowza! That was more things than I thought possible!

Copying my journey journal onto my blog:)

I have been going through my written journal and entering it onto this blog. Take a peek, if you dare, into how I felt when I started this journey in 2008...My journal has been a big part of my life and something I read and reread. It was one of the tools I used to take this journey.

Some AFTER and BEFORE photos:)

January 2010 trying on swimsuits
at 170 pounds

Me at 170 pounds

Me at 170 pounds Christmas 2009

Me at 225 pounds May 2007
one of many times I began to lose
weight before this final time...

November 2008 250 pounds


Size 20

Me at 250 pounds November 2008
Obviously unhappy:(

Happy 41st Birthday to me!

Yeppers, it's my Birthday and I am giving myself a present. I should have done this a long time ago, but I didn't. I should have started a blog:) I have wanted to do this for years. I thought of the name for this blog over a year ago when I started the journey to find me. I lived my first forty years as Andrea. A few people have always called me Annie. When I was 250 pounds and starting the process to find me I dreamed about being Annie B. The dream was alittle blurry and had it been more clear I would have made this journey a LONG time ago. I missed out on sooooooo much before I started losing weight. I am sad to have lost all those years, but as my son says, make lemonaide out of lemons, so I am moving forward and not looking back at the losses of living life unhappy. BUT I am pleading with those of you who are not happy in your current situation to do something about it sooner than later. Find yourself so you can be a better friend, sister, mother, wife, ect.